Family Center - Tell it to Tillie


My husband is thinking of going into trucking. We have 2 young children, 8 y/o and 5 y/o. I feel like I'll be a single parent. I know he is just trying to provide for us and that he'll make a great trucker, but I am scared to death of not having my partner here helping and giving me a break. I am a stay-at-home Mom because I want to be at home with my kids, and I also want my husband to be happy. Is this a common feeling, and how do other women deal with these feelings?


Your fears and concerns are completely legitimate and normal. My first suggestion, and I strongly recommend you do this, is to talk to your husband about your fears and concerns. With a ‘team’ effort you are more likely to be able to handle the life of a trucking family in the most positive manner possible.

There are so many ways to make the distance seem less these days. 20-years ago wives sat by the phone and hoped for a 5-minute call once-a-week. Now, with so many means of communication, it is easier to bridge the gap. Let’s face it – just being able to talk to each other is a huge means of support for both of you. Something I am sure you have considered is your husband’s involvement with the kids. There are a lot of ways for him to maintain that relationship, also, and for the kids to actively include him in their daily lives. One of the best websites I have found is Dads at a Distance.

To some degree you will be a ‘single parent,’ but not truly. You will still have someone there to help you with many things, and this is something that true single parents do not have. I know that being a full-time stay-at-home mom with a spouse who is gone for periods of time can become very stressful; we all need a break; we all need adult interaction. For these reasons, it is important to reserve time for you. A trucker’s wife I once knew signed off on her emails with a reminder to other wives to “take time for YOU”. This is an important rule. Join a club, take a class, go to church… find something that you enjoy and go do it, away from the house and kids. I am not talking every night, but at least once every week or so.

Look to your family and friends for support. You will run into the negative people who will try very hard to put ideas and insecurities into your head. Cut them out of your life. You do not need negative people; you need positive supportive ones!!!

Layover family center has an email group  made up of other trucking spouses who understand, first-hand, what issues you will face. Many, many people have benefited from this group. It is not one size fits all but is a good place to start building a network of “friends” who will understand.

I can’t tell you this will be easy, but I can tell you that if you and your husband continue to maintain communication, support each other and compromise a little, it can be done. You may just find strengths within yourself you did not know existed.

As always, you can email me for more advice and support.

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