Family Center - Tell it to Tillie

Q I'm just about to leave for truck driving school. I am a nutrition-concerned guy and want to be in as good of health as possible on the road and maintain a good weight. I want to know how practical it is to prepare or purchase organic foods on the road and to either buy or make fruit smoothies. Do any truck stops have a place to prepare any food items and how hard is it to find fresh vegetables, fruit and meat on the road?


It will take some effort on your part and planning, but you can eat well on the road if you want to. Invest in a refrigerated cooler and a 12-volt blender. Buy your food on a weekly basis at a real store not at a truck stop. It is all about planning and your willingness to make the effort.


Q I'm a nervous driver. I'm not nervous at the driving part, but at the test part. I've done many hours of in-car lessons, but I go to the test center and get so nervous I fail. My instructor is so disappointed because every time I'm in the car I drive so well, but in the test I'm a stooge. I can't relax myself enough to go through the test and he keeps telling me, "You don't need more classes; you have to just relax so you can drive properly." Any advice?


You suffer from test anxiety. And you are not alone. I've had a few letters from people with this problem this month. You are prepared for this, but you have got to look for a technique to help calm yourself down before the test. Believe in your abilities and mentally walk yourself through the test the day before. See yourself taking the test in your mind's eye. Here are two websites that offer some great advice and insight on why we get test anxiety and how to deal with it. I hope they help.


Q Hello. My husband drives truck for a large retail store. It's a fantastic job. They're very pleased with him and he loves it. I'm so proud of him! We've been married 14 years and he's had some fairly low paying, miserable trucking jobs. He had his own truck for a while and I'd help him wash the truck, help with paperwork, and we'd go out with friends from work. But this DC is over an hour away from us. I'm home with the kids and he's only home a day or two a week. He recently announced that he's unhappy here and wants to get divorced. I'm so heart broken. I did everything to support him in this and it's taken him away. Granted, our relationship has had its bumps, but nothing so horrible we haven't been able to make it through. This job was supposed to be a blessing--better pay, better benefits, easier work for him. How do I compete? He sits in his truck five or more days a week. There are no kids bickering there, no one to mess up his stuff. Everything is in its place where he wants it and he can listen to whatever radio stations he wants to, and he seems to like it. Then he stops at truck stops or at the DC and flirts with all the girls, and doesn't have to deal with all of their "real life" I'm sure it's fun! He's very flirtatious, but I know he's been faithful. He just has a very lovable personality and is very outgoing. He doesn't want to see a therapist because he's evidently had lots of time to think this over and he can't seem to remember any of the good things from our 14 years right now. I tried to tell him that things could change tomorrow, and his job could be gone, or he could be hurt or any number of things...and I will always be there no matter what, because I love him. He says he has no doubt in his mind about it, but he still wants to be done. Our kids are devastated. I don't know what to do. Can you recommend anything? I went to a therapist today and will continue to go. I asked him to go and at least try a few sessions. That way we know that we did all we could if it's not meant to be. He at least owes me and himself and his children and friends that much. I'm sure this is too long for your questions and he doesn't like me airing our dirty laundry anyway, but I'm beside myself with absolute grief so if you have any advice, or can refer me to something that might help, I'd appreciate an email. Thanks a million.


It sounds to me that your hubby is going through a selfish phase and knows darn well you are always going to be there as a safety net. Well, don't do it! Sweetie, give him a time limit. Set a date for when you will stop waiting for him to come to his senses. When that day comes, walk away and get on with your life. Maybe just knowing you are not going to wait around forever will be the wake up call he needs to realize the grass is not always greener and he has it pretty darn good and should stop taking his wife and family fore granted. In the mean time, get yourself a good lawyer and cover your butt. Make sure your kids at the very least will get a decent support from their father. And make sure he knows you are not going to be a doormat in this. You deserve a better explanation and you deserve to be more than what he "settles for" when his good times are over.

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