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There's a scene in the movie From the Earth to the Moon where the husband finds hospital bracelets with his kids' names on them in the kitchen drawer. He asks what they were about and the wife thinks for a minute and says they are from when the kids had their tonsils out the summer before. He wanted to know why she didn't tell him. "Because you were working and didn't need to worry about that on top of everything else." This kind of situation comes up often in trucking. Maybe not to this extreme but sometimes we are faced with the decision of what to tell our drivers and what to save to tell them when they get home.

Sometimes it is the smallest of things that stresses out our driver the most. For us, it was the fact that the car had broken down that made my husband feel the worse. It didn't bother me and was no big deal in my eyes but to him, it was a stranded family and he felt helpless. I am not saying don't tell your driver anything but the god news. This is the opposite extreme and makes them feel as if they are out of the loop and unneeded. There is a fine line.

Never tell your driver bad news when he is actually behind the wheel. Save it to discuss when he has stopped for a break. This gives him the opportunity to concentrate on the job at hand. Don't deliver the news in a way that makes your driver feel as if it is his fault things have gone wrong. Even though your driver is not at home every night, they are still your partner. Give them a chance to help make the decisions.

Avoid bombarding your driver with the little things in life. They don't need to know the toilet backed up and you had to get the plunger out. They do need to know if the plumber is going to be sending a bill. Let your driver know you are capable of fixing the little things in life that come up but you still need them too. Often drivers feel unneeded once the home-front spouse has figured out how to do the odd jobs around the house that were once completely their domain.

In the case of real emergencies, such as illness of a loved one, don't hide the facts. They need to know. Break the news gently. Medical decisions especially need to be a joint effort. There are going to be those times though that a decision cannot wait. If the situation is extreme it may be best to contact your driver's dispatch or safety department. Have them head your driver home. Do not call the company over every little thing. It will make it impossible for you to get help when you really need it.

Everyone is different and different people handle information better than others. You know your driver better than anyone else. Sit down and discuss how to handle the sharing of bad news with your driver. Give them the chance to define what they want to know and when. If you have a plan for these situations it will make everything safer and smoother if or when you are faced with them.

A Trucker's Wife is a column that is written by a different guest writer each month. If you would like to share your thoughts and feelings with other homefront spouses email us at imatruckerswife@layover.com .