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Driving a truck, the related stress, and being away from home so much can take a toll on a marriage and the family. With statistics showing that 3.6 divorces occur per 1,000 people, and there being 3.5 million commercial drivers, it is a given that many truck drivers will find themselves divorced, many with minor-aged children still at home.

Children are the real victims of divorce, not only do they lose seeing a parent for a great amount of the time but they are often caught in the middle between angry, resentful adults. Children will often feel that they are the cause of the divorce even though they had little if anything to do with it. Many times, children are used as a wedge against one parent by the other and children will get very confused about how they should feel or act toward a parent they love.

So many truckers say their spouses think that they are cheating while away for so long, it is almost an occupational hazard. I have heard truckers tell of how their ex tells their child that the trucker is a bad person so the child doesn't want to see them. How sad. The ex gets some satisfaction from hurting the driver but the real loser is the child who ends up thinking poorly of their driver parent. This can lead to self-esteem issues for the child and a build up of anger towards the driver parent and, at times, towards the custodial parent, not to mention building a bad image of truckers in general.

Children need both parents to be part of their lives. Some fathers of daughters think that the girl needs her mother more than him. I have also heard just the opposite from women who drive, that their boy needs his father more. Not true.

Children who do not have contact with both parents can feel the effects of that loss for the rest of their lives. Some grow up with problems that lead to their own poor choices as well as their own divorces. Behavioral problems might be the least of it. Some children from broken homes end up using controlled substances or commit crimes, and gangs are full of divorced kids looking for acceptance.

One hears many stories from people in all walks of life about how visitation is withheld by the custodial parent and this doesn't change in a trucker's life. Many noncustodial parents who are supposed to pay child support but do not, or at least do not pay regularly due to the vagaries of trucking wages, think that nonpayment of child support hinders visitation. This is not necessarily legal, but it does make the custodial parent less likely to encourage a visit. Some exes might be afraid that you, as a driver, will take the children and disappear with them into the night in your truck.

Being a trucker, you must be creative to arrange visitation to see your children. It might take changing jobs or routes so you can get by to see them more often. Getting an attorney might be necessary to mediate with the ex so that legal visitation is allowed whenever you can get through town. You can always suggest supervised visitation with another family member that you still get along with or meeting them at the local police station or child protective office for an hour's visit at least. At least your children will get to see you.

If you cannot work out visiting in person , cards and letters can be the next best thing. Take interest in your child's activities, how they are doing in school, their friends, and how they're spending they're time. Encourage them to obey their custodial parent even if you two adults do not agree on anything. One rule of thumb (which is probably the toughest for some): Never disrespect the custodial parent to, or in the presence of, the children. Children do not need to hear in depth why you two cannot or could not get along or how bad of a person your ex is. Those are personal issues. The marriage is over. You have to get over that too.

Divorce is a terrible thing for everyone involved. It is the failure of a marriage that was meant to last forever, just as the love for your child is supposed to last forever. You might not have been able to save the marriage but you can save the love between you and your children by visiting often, contacting them often, or by putting the anger towards your ex aside for the good of the children. Hopefully your ex can do the same.

Ya'll be safe out there!