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Unless you are an orphan with no family at all, at some point in your career you are going to have some sort of serious family problem or family tragedy and either have to get home to deal with the problem or deal with the problem's effects while still doing your job. It doesn't really matter the degree of the tragedy; it might be as simple as a child falling out of a tree and breaking an arm, or it might be as complex as someone you love dying.

We all deal with tragedy and problems differently; some of us can compartmentalize a problem while we drive, some of us come apart and cannot function, and some of us keep on doing our job even though our hearts are breaking. Our companies have a lot to do with how we deal with problems at home; some will tell us immediately and either get us a load home or allow us to deadhead there, and some will allow us to park the truck and fly home. Sadly, however, some just don't care beyond what is convenient for them.

Several years ago, a young driver at the company I worked for got a call while he was down in southern Georgia. His father called to tell him that his two year old daughter had died in a house fire and that his wife was in the hospital badly burned. The driver, who lived in Missouri, was over 1000 miles from home and did not have the money to fly home. He called the company and they told him to head to the house then called the other company drivers. We other drivers worked in rotations to remain on the phone with the young driver, trying to keep him focused, for the entire time it took him to get home.

Back in the 1980's, before cell phones, I ran across an old o/o friend on the cb coming along behind me on interstate 55 in Illinois. He said he would be passing me in just a few minutes but could not slow down to run along with me. He had just found out that morning, when he had made his weekly call to home, that his father had died the week before but his company had not told him. He was an only child and his mother was ill and home alone, so he had to get home to be with her. Sadly, he missed the funeral. The company told him that they had been trying to get him a load to get him closer to the house and did not want him to get upset on the road, so they did not tell him when they got the call.

A little closer to home, the first week in May, I was awakened by my cell phone ringing at 5:30 am. It was my brother calling me to tell me that his oldest son, 36 years old, had committed suicide a few hours earlier. I was 600 miles from home, under load back to Kansas City, and was going to have to be the one to tell our 85 year old mother about her grandson's death. I couldn't break down. I called my company and informed them of the situation and explained that I would need to take some days off. They arranged for me to deliver the load early and allowed me to deadhead the 112 miles home from Kansas City to be with my family, allowing me to take a week off even though I hadn‘t yet worked there for a full year.

The first week on June, I got a phone call from the same brother's wife that he was in the hospital. The next day, he told me that the doctors found cancer in his brain, in his back, and in his lungs. This brother is not only my brother; he is also my hero and my best friend. To say the least, the week was devastating as I had to continue to work but, once again, my company stood behind me and allowed me to bobtail to the hospital in KC to see my brother while I was there. The coming weeks are going to be very hard as my brother fights for his life and I have to face losing someone I love so greatly while still driving every day.

In today's world, cell phones have made a very big difference in staying in touch and connected with family and loved ones. A driver can be contacted if there is any sort of problem at home or in the family, but what does he/she then do? It is not like we can drop everything, run out to the car, and go down the road for help, nor can we fall to pieces. We have the responsibilities of our job and you cannot just park and leave $150,000 worth of equipment with thousands of dollars of payload sitting unattended, so we end up driving.

Those cell phones that can bring the bad news can also save our sanity in that we can call our company to alert them to the problem and tell them what we need to do. We can coordinate with the company to re-power the load, park the rig in a safe area, reschedule delivery appointments, and try to get by the house as quickly as possible. Perhaps the most important thing we can do is to use the cell phone to stay connected to family members and friends, give them support and receive the support we need, and try to keep focused.

The main thing is to closely watch how you are handling the job, especially in the case of a seriousness illness or the death of a loved one. Being distraught while driving anything, much less a truck, is not conducive to survival in itself; you will not be good for anyone if you end up wrecked. If you are too overwhelmed by your feelings, park the truck for a while and deal with your emotions; cry, yell, or even chuck rocks at trees to work through it until you can get on the road again and safely reach your destination.

Death, illness, and taxes are inevitable; we just have to deal with them the best way we can, no matter how difficult or painful the situation may be.