Court Is Now In Session
"Get OUT of it?!" "OUT" of what?
When the officer who had the nerve to hassle ol' Judge Henderson finds himself unemployed with a black mark on his record, it's a good bet he'll fail to appear as the arresting officer or a wittness.
Case dismissed, with the Court's appology to Fred for causing His Honor grief.
That cop must have been a rookie unaware that there are two things never to mess with,
1. Mother Nature
2. Sitting Judges
Not necessarily in that order.
As for any record this ever happened, we regret to inform you the records seem to have been mis-filed and were unable to be located. Hundreds of thousands of record files would have to be searched to locate those records and the court just doesn't have the extra time or manpower to conduct such a search. Besides, that would be a waste of tax-payer's dollars.
Any citizen can request a copy of the records, but it's doubtful the records will be found before said citizen finds themself in the same unemployment line as the arresting officer. Chances are good both will have moved from Eau Claire, leaving no forewarding address, making it impossible to locate them. It's like they just sorta disappeared. Poof!
On the plus side, Ol' Judge Henderson will celebrate with drinks on the house. Put it on his tab.
Officers in Eau Claire would be wise to remember drinking judges don't need designated drivers. Besides, it's against the law to be involved in a crash with a judge. Who'd be stupid enough to get in the way of or let a judge run into them? No matter how it goes down, a judge will never be at fault.
Do as I say, not as I do.
Next case.
Mr. John Q. Public...........
You're charged with drunk driving. How do you plea?
NOT guilty? I doubt that. I sentence you to 20 years. When will y'all learn I won't tolerate drunk driving in MY town? The good folks of Eau Claire deserve to be protected from the likes of drunk drivers, and I'll drink to that.
Salute!
Ahhhhhhh.
One more...........for the road -- doncha know?
Ahhhhhhh.
Maybe one more, that's it. One more quick one. For good measure.
Ahhhhhhh. I'll just have a bourbon to chase the scotch. For medicinal purposes.
Ahhhhhh.
Thas bedder.
Bring in the next guilty law-breaker. Hurry! Happy hour starts in 30 minutes. I was late yesterday. That's unacceptable.
They hired a new bar maid, and she's cute. The former bartender is serving hard time for yelling "Last Call" before Judge Henderson was totally blitzed.
Big mistake on the bartender's part.
Didn't help his case when he asked how to tell the difference betwixt a drunk judge and a common drunk, claiming they all look the same to him.
Put him in the same cell as Brutus. Brutus LOVES bartenders. Could turn into a serious relationship.
Thanx Judge Henderson.
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