Newport Arkansas, C1 Driving School
In the not so wonderful town of Newport Arkansas there is a tiny truck driving school where an individual can attend truck driving classes with the sponsorship of companies such as PAM, Star, and USA. The school is however, not without issues. C1 or Driver Solutions is typically glad to assist you in enrolling in this school. They speak of opportunities, new future, and exciting pay. All you have to do is make up enough information to pass their quaint background check. Once approved, you are informed that this is a B.Y.O.T facility, or bring your own transportation; as an alternative greyhound bus lines would be honored to assist you in these travel endeavors. Note however, the school is located 5 miles from housing - costing you $295 for three weeks (regardless if they decided a vacation is priority and they send you home early). It is not recommended through Driver Solutions that you hitch hike either, because of the rampant pig farmer named Bob wanting to rape you. Leaving you with no alternative but to beg for a ride with a complete stranger, you will very quickly find yourself making friends. After all, Newport Arkansas is full of eager smiles ready to take your money.
Class will typically start on a Monday and a very friendly individual name Dale will greet you with mundane truck driving jokes. In fact, the entire first day is dedicated to making you feel special, as if you made the right decision to attend their school. Dale will attempt to establish trust, by telling you the pros and cons of being a truck driver. Then he will become your best friend through relations of humor. I personally love these time proven methods of manipulation, as they have served the pockets of the greedy for many years. Your second day will be cluttered with more trucker jokes and a little bit of instruction. Youre told to study, because time is short. However, teaching you is of little priority. In fact they have a very proud motto, here at the Arkansas Driving Institute, only half of you will make it. You have only several days to determine if you will be one of the lucky ones to survive their version of truck driver boot camp. If not, then they have a wonderful prorated plan to assist you in leaving with your pocket book only half emptied.
As they state, If you pass your drug test, if you pass your permit test, if you pass your background check, if you pass your employment check, if you pass your driving test, you will become a truck driver. Be assured that this is stated with the eloquence of a hick accent.
The drug test is simple, pee in a cup. The physical is anything but comprehensive. They have you fill out a medical questionnaire and then have you cough. If you can do these things, you will probably become a truck driver. They do not like to hear about broken arms, legs, backs, necks and heart problems. If youre diabetic you should find a new career. If you find yourself in Newport, and you have broken a leg or injured a knee in the far past, be prepared to be sent home. Dont worry though, they will not charge you for the entire school, only the part you attended. You should think of the experience as a comedy club, because it is truly what your paying for. They do believe in a strict schedule of entertainment, the hours are from 7 am to 5 pm the first week with no days off. And then 6 am to 5 pm the second and third weeks with no days off. As they state, time is limited so work hard, but in the mean time, have you heard the one about the truck driver who found a huge lot lizard hanging off the hood?
Assuming you havent killed yourself, at some point you will visit the wonderful backwoods Newport Revenue office. Prepare yourself for a long wait because here in Newport, service is anything but expedited. The robust women here find Twinkies of much greater priority. You will again cough up $50 for two sheets of paper allowing you to record your grades for the CDL. I highly recommend you pass these test, because you do not want to spend more time in Newport than you have too.
The first weekend is spent learning how to straight line back a tractor trailer 300 feet. Not to worry, its a simple task really, just dont hit the barrels. After a few days you will be graded on the straight line backing, if you fail, you are of course given the option to quit owing only part of the school fee. The trucks themselves are worth a line or two of explanation. If you attend in the summer, it is recommended that you drink copious amounts of liquid so you dont die of heat exhaustion, the trucks have little to no air conditioning. If you attend during the winter, youre encouraged to wear about 5 layers of clothing preventing death by hypothermia, because the trucks have little to no heating. Should you require verbal instruction by a professional staff member, you should attend a truck driving school far away from Arkansas State University Joking Institute. If you cant do it, then youre simply not cut out to be a truck driver. Figure it out, or go home is the teaching model here in Newport Arkansas.
The next few days will be spent learning how to dock and perform the serpentine maneuver. The backwoods hick instructors will tell you once how to perform these maneuvers. Take notes, if you force them to repeat themselves they will regard you with disdain. Remember, teaching is not an option, you will be required to take notes and act like men. Only real men can drive a truck, only real men dont ask for directions.
It is rare that a woman decides to become a truck driver, but it does happen. The women who attend this school should be forewarned of the sexual harassment policy. There is none. Of all the shocking events I experienced from this school, this was the most amusing. Here in Newport Arkansas, at a State College, woman are treated like sexual objects by both the students and the staff. Im sure there are many different truck driving schools, and I would bet all them are a better option if you find yourself a female in gender.
The Arkansas State University Driving Institute does not offer standardized testing. If you found yourself requiring direction, assistance, or further modes of teaching you will probably not pass the final CDL exam. I have seen them fail students simply because they did not like them. At this point, you will owe the full tuition amount. So at this point who do you blame? You cant blame C1, they act only as a broker. They are not in charge of these schools. You can however blame the incompetence of the school program. If you want to be a truck driver, you should probably avoid the schools that offer no money down, with year long contracts. Find a real college, pay the tuition, and have yourself tested by the state. The real college driving school will be longer, allowing you the time to learn without fear of being sent home. You will be required to pay for the school, but you do get what you pay for.
There is one exception to Arkansas State University Driving Institute, and that is individuals going to work for a company called Maverick Transportation Inc. These students are treated with care, compassion, and love. In fact, they have maid service, they sleep in special beds, and they practice in trucks with heating and air. It has been said that they have someone change their underwear too. If you are going to work for Maverick Transportation, this is the school for you. Everybody else shut up, learn, work hard, and give ASU Driving Institute as much money possible, and while in Newport Arkansas, spend as much as possible to support the farmers who exchange salvia with their pigs and goats.
If you are in desperate need of becoming a truck driver, and dont care about anything and just want to get on with your life as a truck driver, then of course this school will assist you. You will need at least $600 cash to live through the experience, more if you drive your own vehicle. I personally fit that category, and I made it through the program. However, I did lose my sanity somewhere between week two and week three. Doctors state that I should recover normally in just a few more days of rest, relaxation, and continual therapy. I learned a lot at Arkansas State University Joke Driving Institute, and for this I am thankful. Now, I must depart to defile myself in antipsychotic medications.