Bullwagon backhauls

[wallyg8tor]

I remember telling about one back haul I did lining my pot (livestock trailer) with chicken wire and hauling genetically engineered colored chickens to a fly factory - for flies for fishing. I'll retell that adventure later, but today for some reason I was remembering a run I did from the Everglades in Florida to Colorado. I hauled a load of high altitude beef from Colorado to Florida for some hungry people wanting to enjoy that good 'ol mile high cattle. Then although in my bid I considered the price in paying for round trip not counting on a back haul. However, opportunity knocked and I was asked if I could haul a load of gators back to Colorado. I told them heck yeah. There were a total of only 40 which wasn't too bad I figured and decided I'd put 20 on the top and 20 on the bottom. I never loaded gators before - I had loaded kangaroos, horses, camels, chickens, and miniature elephants (engineered by a pygmy tribe in Africa) among other things but not gators. I decided I'd throw some rotted meat in the nose of the trailer and let nature take it's course. It started off pretty good and quite a few scurried in and past me - I was standing in my usual place just around the corner at the top of the ramp with hot shot in hand ready to light up anyone slow to load on the bus. Well that morning I had several breakfast burritos with pork chirizzo and to be quite frank as I tried to release a little air - quite a frightening sound came from my nether region and the air began to fill with a rancid odor of rotted pork and eggs. My eyes began to burn as I saw what alligators in the trailer averted their attention from the rotted meat up front, to the fresh meat in the back with the scent of alligator bait emenating from the hind end. I tried to round the corner down the ramp but gators were still coming up and my wife who was with me thought that my waving arms was a signal to drop the gate on the back of the wagon. As I felt and heard it rumble down shut, I could feel almost 20 sets of eyes intently staring at me ready for a fresh meal. I started grabbing the holes in the side of the trailer and was hanging towards the ceiling by my life. For some reason when I got up in the air the gators seemed to spook from something and scurried backwards away from me - taking the cue, I dropped down to the decked and dived around the corner and dropped the upper deck gate. I told the wife what happened and could not figure out what had saved my life but being a woman (knowing everything) she pointed at my gator skin boots and said I probably scared the mess out of them thinking they would become a pair of boots. I found the rest loaded pretty fast as I flashed my boots behind the crowd of gators and when unloading I just flickered the through the holes in the front of the trailer. I'm sure many are asking why I hauled a load of gators to Colorado. There is a gator farm in the San Luis Valley of Colorado, but my load was destined for a secret location in Denver. When I got there I was told that the person who had ordered the gators was a ticked off city council member who wanted to get back at the others by filling the city sewer system with the beasts, just like he had seen a TV special of NYC sewer gators. I guess what reminded me of the haul was just recently the council member's son - who is now a council member after his dad retired - was at a meeting where they were addressing what action to take to rid Denver of their sewer gators. He said, "I make a motion to TABLE the matter, due to our appreciation dinner following this meeting, and we are all getting pretty hungry." Making some wonder why he had a devilish laugh as he made the proposal. Anyways, he allowed his dad's revenge to take better effect as those at the dinner were completely unaware that the pulled pork sandwiches were actually sewer gator meat. When he was offered a sandwich, he replied, "No thanks, I'm a vegetarian." "At least tonight," he continued under his breath. Ain't No Feeling Like Cow Mobiling!

[Nmorton]

Wally, I havn't laughed this hard in some time. Thank you!

[joellyrollj]

Thanks Wally, glad to see your stories, or are they adventures, back here on Layover Lounge.

[bungafoo]

Thanks for the belly laugh and a pleasant diversion from the norm on this forum wally.

As I recall, you were cowboyin' in Colorado ..west and a little south of Limon.

Did the range fires and the lack of pasture affect the cattle operation where you worked cause the operation to go belly up ?

Is there a story here or something you would rather not talk about.

Good to have you back.

[bungafoo]

I worked on a fire dept in N.M. with a dude whose father was a hunting guide in the Durango , CO. area...furnished the big shots with everything they needed, including pack mules, into the *boondocks on hunting trips.

A story that stuck with me over the years is how they would hang fresh killed venison from a tree limb..allowed it to rot for awhile..cut away the rotted and green flesh and how delicious the meat was.

Salivating now..think I will grill a hamburgher.

* There was a pleasant little truck stop, I believe in Iowa, called "The Boondocks"...wonder if it's still there.

[bigjoe]

I'm really happy to see our former resident storyteller back and I hope Wally will continue to be a regular once more.

This boy is a pistol. (literally)

Get him to tell you about the time I stopped in Grand Jct to visit with him while I was hauling a huge USMC tank. Wally, being a former Marine Tank crewman couldn't resist hopping inside for a look. What happened next set the city of Grand Junction on it's ear.

I would tell the story but Wallyg8tor tells it so much better.

[aftershock]

Originally Posted by bigjoe

I'm really happy to see our former resident storyteller back and I hope Wally will continue to be a regular once more.

This boy is a pistol. (literally)

Hear Here!
You ain't just whistlin' Dixie Big Joe.
Wally's stories make the unbelievable easier to believe.
They're also quite addictive.
No doubt about it.

The government pays farmers not to plant certain crops.
Rumor has it that the DC gang pays Wally not to write his stories.
I wonder.

[wallyg8tor]

Thanks guys. Bungafoo, that's about what I do with my deer and elk. I'll hang it in my shed in a game sack for a week and a half to two weeks - where there's a bit of rot starting even if there's flies and larvae that get into it, then I carve up the meat and it's the best eating.
The state declared a natural disaster on most of southeastern Colorado and hauling hay and cornstalk into the ranch is a good tax write off. Plus the farm where the hay and cornstalk is hauled in is owned by the same outfit. About 170 mile round trip. They've been talking about shutting down since last winter but who knows what happens. Right now I had a family emergency so I'm back at my house in western Colorado - while my aunts in the hospital - I'm running a side dump hauling ash out of a power plant. They're begging me to stay permanently but not sure yet. It's kind of nice back in the mountains and my best friend and I disappear into the hills panning for gold whenever we get a chance. So split emotions on the deal, and I miss the OTR too. So sometimes I get tempted with that. I have a little boy that I wasn't expecting to have in my middle ages and being with him everyday has been the greatest thing ever - spent most of my past on the road away from family and never realized how great it is being there constantly to enjoy kids 24/7. In my younger days it didn't matter to me as much, but getting older, having a son just starting out in life is the greatest thing ever. During Easter we gave him a basket and showed him how to gather hidden eggs, he grabbed about three when he came across some of my tools, he tossed the basket with no more interest and grabbed a wrench and started twisting on different parts of my truck. "That's my boy," I beamed. A year and a half old and he thinks he's a gear head already! Can't wait until he's old enough for Saturday night racing from carts all the way to when he's racing them modifides ;0

[bungafoo]

. I have a little boy that I wasn't expecting to have in my middle ages and being with him everyday has been the greatest thing ever - spent most of my past on the road away from family and never realized how great it is being there constantly to enjoy kids 24/7. In my younger days it didn't matter to me as much, but getting older, having a son just starting out in life is the greatest thing ever. During Easter we gave him a basket and showed him how to gather hidden eggs, he grabbed about three when he came across some of my tools, he tossed the basket with no more interest and grabbed a wrench and started twisting on different parts of my truck. "That's my boy," I beamed.

You have embarked on one of the greatest adventures of your life...watching a child grow into a man or a lady is unsurpassed by anything else you have ever done.

Perpetuation of the species..I think they call it.

My wife thought it would be neat for our 4 year old son bonding with me if I took him to a little carnival at a shopping center while she and the girls did their thing.

We were standing in line waiting our turn for a ride when @ a 20 year old dude stepped in front of us and placed his son in the little car....I was @ 35 at the time and tried not to cuss in front of the kids..but I told _____we would let the son of a b____have it and turned to walk away....he said.."why you old bassturd..blah..blah,,blah...."

Maaan..if he thought I was an old bassturd when I was 35..he ought to see me now.